Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
