Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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