hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
