look no pants
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
