Christians are straight up FREAKS
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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