You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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