I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
