I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
