no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
