im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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