Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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