Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
