Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
