And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
