Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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