I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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