So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
