how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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