I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
