Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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