got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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