She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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