She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize