dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
