forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This house was built for laser tag.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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