He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
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Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
But theres a keg here and me gusta
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He better not be in your backpack
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize