Where is the hickey?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
