they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
