Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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