That's intense
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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