I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
