so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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