u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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