apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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