sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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