we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
