I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
