i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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