Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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