Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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