just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
