Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize