sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
