I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
