well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
