One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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