The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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