When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
