let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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