finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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