3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
