he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
