You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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