I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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