worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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