sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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