The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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