I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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