My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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