yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
