i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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