3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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