He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm too high and old for this...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
