I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Is it because I queefed?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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