david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
