I CAN MOONWALK!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
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