she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
