the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
