just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
